How to: A day in Edinburgh
Step 1: Take the night bus. Wonder why you thought the night bus would ever be a good idea. Discover how uncomfortable it is to sleep on the night bus. Only manage to get about 1 hour of sleep.
Step 2: Arrive in Edinburgh an hour early. Vow to take the train if you ever come here again. Search for coffee. Discover no Coffee shops are open before 8am.
Step 3: Finally find some coffee. Discover Prince St. Gardens. Watch the sun slowly rise while drinking coffee in Prince St. Gardens. Be glad you took the night bus.
Step 4: See the Scott Monument. Wonder what Sir Walter Scott did to get such an awesome monument. Decide to be an author so you can get a cool monument too. Wonder if you can get to the top of the Scott Monument. Be convinced by your friend that it is probably a bad idea to attempt to get to the top of the Scott Monument at 8:30am.
Step 5: Wander upwards. Take lots of pictures. Take some more pictures. Discover that you can see water and mountains if you get high enough on the hilly streets. Keep going upwards.
Step 6: Find Edinburgh Castle. Say the word ‘wow’ about 10 times. Discover you can’t go into Edinburgh Castle until 9:30am. Take some pictures of the (incredible) view. Wander some more. Find Greyfriars Bobby statue. Realize Greyfriars bobby is a dog. Wonder how it was on your list of things to see without knowing that it was a statue of a dog.
Step 7: Find the Elephant house. Drink Coffee at the Elephant house and pretend that you are J.K. Rowling working on the next Harry Potter. Read the graffiti in the bathroom dedicated to Harry Potter and JK Rowling.
Step 8: Go back to Edinburgh Castle at 9:30 exactly. Explore the Castle. Take lots of pictures. Try opening every closed door (find that most are locked, and the ones that aren’t are broom closets). Try to find hidden passages. Wonder if someone could steal the crown jewels. Check out the prisons. Wonder where the random staircases lead. Be convinced by your friend not to try and find out. Discuss Game of Thrones (Edinburgh Castle=Winterfell).
Step 9: Wander the street markets. Buy a hat and a necklace. Find the Writers Museum. Be glad that it is a free museum. Read about some writers you haven’t heard of (and some that you have). Be more entertained by the quotes on the walkway outside than the actual museum.
Step 10: Get lunch. Explore a Cemetery. Say ‘Cemeteries are cool’ while looking at the 100 year old (at least) graves. Find Calton Hill. Climb Calton Hill. Take photos. Climb on to the (unfinished) Acropolis. Struggle a bit climbing the steps stones. Say ‘wow’ while looking at the mountains. Wonder how long it would take to climb the Salisbury Crags and Arthurs Seat. Decide that you cannot do that today, and plan to come back to climb it.
Step 11: Sit and take in the view from Calton Hill. Climb to the top of Nelson’s Monument. Hate stairs. Hate wind. Love the panoramic view.
Step 12: Find Dunbar’s Close Gardens. Wonder if they are prettier in warm weather. Go get coffee. Explore a Christmas shop. Wonder why there are Christmas shops open before Halloween year round. Decide some people are way too into Christmas.
Step 13: Go shopping. Find something comfortable for the next night bus. Buy some books. Go to Jenner’s, and sit on the couches. Pretend you are buying a couch, but really, your legs just hurt. Try to go to coffee shop in Jenners, discover it is closed.
Step 14: Go back to Prince St. Gardens. Watch the seagulls. Invent the word sea-eagle with your friend. Realize you are probably slaphappy. Eat a street burger. Think that it is the best thing in your life. Realize you are definitely slaphappy.
Step 15: Buy a blanket. Take the night bus back. Sleep even less on the night bus. Hate the night bus. Finally make it home at 6am. Sleep all day. Miss Edinburgh.